Mood: (Crabby)

              When Mega came to see me at work just now you would have thought I would have been happy my old best friend I grew apart from came to see me. Instead, I feel almost ashamed to say I feel abandoned by everyone. All of my friends don't mesh well with me anymore. I feel so much older now, with a rock on my finger, living on your own, working. One of my old friends doesn’t have those concerns right now; She's still looming over another year of high school. I also can't deal with my friends drama. The two faced ways about them is SO fuckin' unnecessary. Every fucking bit of it is damn unnecessary. Who the hell get's bitchy because people wouldn't walk directly beside them in the mall? Who the hell get's pissed off because you make a joke referring to yourself banging someone they have a crush on, making it very VERY clear that it's just a joke? No one sane, that's fucking who. And also, who sane would still be friends with someone who lies to them (directly to their face, by the way) and goes off with their Ex-Boyfriend like they were best pals ever, and treats everyone like shit? No one, that's who. I have NEVER done anything like that, EVER, yet I'm still seen as the bitchy one, and that person who treated them like shit still get's a better place in their life than me. That's just CRAZYNESS. I'm not fucking doing it anymore. I've made a promise to myself, there will be NO more drama. Of any kind, ever. If anyone puts me in a position on a daily basis where I have to hear about drama or be involved with it, I will NOT talk to them anymore. I’m proving that now by completely cutting those people out of my life. I don’t deserve to be looked down on when my friendship was so strong and so fucking decent, that I would never DREAM of doing half of the things the other person has to them. It’s mind blowing how much none of this is sane. So, I’m done. I loved them both like brother and sister. Hell, one of them doesn’t surprise me, him calling me a piece of shit. I know he always really thought that, and I know he always meant all of those things he called me, because he’s a shitty human being like that, corrupted by his out of their damn mind parents, and a general little snobby spoiled gay boy who has no other friends because he’s so fucking pathetic. Really, who the hell hasn’t had a normal relationship with ANYONE in who fucking knows how long because he’s too scared of his Mamma? Sooner or later, I would stop blaming the town I’m in and just accept that everyone around me that even acts nice, wouldn’t even notice me if I wasn’t gay. Jesus Christ, it makes me SO mad to think of the disrespectful and hurtful stupid SHITTY things he said down his nose to me. That is FINE. When he gets AIDS, he better not come crawling to me to speak at his funeral. My friends aren’t there for me anymore emotionally, and that’s fine, I have Rumfelt. Greene and me are now pretty good friends. I mean, sitting on his bed stuffing as many nose plugs as we can up our nose is pretty fun. I discovered if you put enough it looks like a mustache. He’s not my best friend or anything, but it’s nice to have at least a friend outside of my boyfriend.

Alright, enough of that. :P

I’m getting calmer, more mellow. All around less angry. Though you couldn’t tell from that little rant above, it’s true. Me and my mom said our peace to each other. I told her how much a piece of shit she was, she told me how big of one I was. I told her she could suck my dick, she stood there and cryed. I kicked her out of the lobby of where I work, she left. The end. So, there’s the drama of it all. Blah blah. My dad still hasn’t called me or anything, but what else is new. I miss him very much but I can’t fight to have a place in my dad’s life. It’s too much work. Watch CKY3, it’s pretty much the funniest shit ever. Mustand Man makes me laugh hard, and BAM looks very good in the Beast Man Video.

TATTOOS NEXT WEEKEND. YEAH.

I have a tan, for the first time EVER. It’s really nice actually. I’ve lost a few. I’m going to do something awesome with my hair, I just don’t know what yet, haha. I’m honest to god thinking about rainbow streaks, which would be the shit. Expensive as HELL, but the shit. I know Mindy could do it, she’s absolutely awesome.

My car is kinda acting funny and it makes me nervous. I’ve gone over everything that it might possibly be and I can’t really find what it is that’s making it do it. When it dropps down to first gear, or I’m going up a hill, it seems to vibrate like it’s not in gear. It mostly happens when I get down to about a Quarter of gas left. Weird, huh? Who the hell knows.

I’ve been going up to Rumfelt’s Uncle with him, and his little cousin Sabrina is cute as hell. I put make up on her, taken her to bible school, I bring her stuff. She’s just a cute girl. His uncle and his aunt are both nice, it just makes me sad that some people try to take advantage of his Uncle. Whatever, it’s none of my business.

I’ve gone through TWO road checks in a matter of two weeks, both when I happen to not have my license on me. I had to send it in to get a new social security card, so the fuckin’ cops had to look me up. One almost ran over me pulling behind me to check my license, because right before the road check is where Rumfelt’s uncle’s house is. So we pulled in. He thought we were avoiding the road check. We wasn’t, duh, but he insisted on catching us red handed…..turning into a driveway. He felt like a retard, he had to of.

I lost $200 in Asheville with Greene and Rumfelt going to see Hostel 2. I hope whoever has my fucking money chokes on it. J

I love Rumfelt. I love him a lot. I also love the fact that he’s sweet enough to bring me food while I’m at work. Seriously. I LOVE HIM. :3

Yeah, I’m happy. Life is good, life is happy. I miss Mega, and I miss some of my old life, but fuck it. Things are still good. Life sucks, blah blah, I’m sick of that shit. It could be worse. THINGS ARE FINE.

I’m done. I’ll write more when I have more to write. :D

XOXO

-P